What the hell

So, I'm going to try meditating on why it is almost impossible for me to lose weight. Well, I'm down to 183. Which is actually an all time low and what I got down to during my last ww spell. It seems as if the 170's 160's 150's 140's and heaven forbid the 130's are a vague dream that I remember having once but can't really remember the details. After training and running the marathon and not losing a damn pound, I have to say, I'm a little bitter and defeated. Amy spoke to me of choices the other day and I yearn to be the Momma who has all the fun/healthy/varied meal and snack ideas inside my head. But, after a long hard day at work, the only thing in my head is I"M FREAKING HUNGRY and snack snack snack while I cook whatever is the easiest and most convienent to cook. If I plan ahead, I do MUCH better. But, I don't know if it is the change of seasons, holidays approaching, post marathon disappointment, or general fatigue from not catching the full blown colds my children seem to keep getting, I'm a little energy-less these days. I'm still taking the fish oil regularly. It seems that that DOES help. And, I'm sure exercising could help my situation. I'm just bitter. I'm going to try to read a book titled "Real Food" to try to inspire me w/ ideas of how to better feed myeself and my family.
We're about to pay $2,500 for a expert witness and actually file the lawsuit soon. I REALLY hope something comes of this!! What a blessing that would be!

I'm 4 pounds away from 170....I weighed in this morning and I'm closer than I thought I was. I really thought I was going to be closer to the 190's. So, I guess I will just keep keeping on and try to implement some exercise 3 days this week and eat as much "real food" as possible w/o snacking as much. That's my goal. I hope you guys are doing well! I hope I don't always email you guys and just bitch. But, I do love when ya'll do and that's why we've got eachother!
ALL MY LOVE TO YOU GUYS! I've got to go take Maddock to Lowes and get some real tools for him to use on some real wood. Big Boy

My thoughts on Tuesday 9/9

Okay...so here's how I see it. I really don't want to think about dieting for a while. I am just taking a break, working out, eating healthy, and seeing where this leads me. I have been stuck at 195 for a few weeks now, and I'm going no where but possibly insane. This is not the first time I have been here. After losing my Erin baby weight, the same thing happened. Eventually I got over the plateau and kept going to 185, but it took a while. I'm sure I will reach that point again as well. Until then, no more weight watchers, just healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle.

Monday

I did actually get up and workout today, even though this should be the day I rest and celebrate the creation of labor unions. Burning 660 calories did inspire me to enjoy a couple of beers and a football game!

B/f--muffin-3
bacon=2
snack--almonds=5
lunch--tuna=7
crackers=5
dinner--salad=0
steak--??
beer=6

I did exceed today's total, but I'm feeling okay with that!

Thursday

Since we didn't get to chat last night, I did manage to lose 2 lbs, even though my friends and I ate and drank more than our share. So I'm down to 196 but not "feeling it" yet. By "it" I mean the passion to really lose it. I feel like I'm working out to eat! And since it's working, then I'm going with it.

Here's today's grub!
B/f--cereal=3
milk=1
banana=1
lunch--spaghetti=7
snack--kashi=2
dinner--

Catch-up

I am way late on this one. I didn't do great over the weekend with the girlies, but I did watch what I ordered go right into my mouth...haha. Believe it or not, tropical storm julio has brought rain and clouds to Tucson, and my days have been so long. I'm used to the sun; I need it! So Monday and Tuesday I laid low, exercised, and ate decent.

Here's Wednesday's plan:
B/f--banana=1
1/2 bagel=3
lunch--1/2 pb&j=3
dinner--chicken quesadilla=10

Talk to you tonight!

Thursday for Jamie

As usual, too much rush to feed mama, so I'm starving at 11am.

B/f=0
snack--almonds=5
lunch--tuna w/mayo & egg=7
sun chips=3
snack--carrots=1
dinner--chicken salad=2

I did my spin class this morning for 55 min and burned 558 calories!

Weights 8/20

Jen was done 2 from 155 to 153
Jamie was the same 198

Keep on truckin!